the battle.

long time no blog, but needless to say, the past couple of weeks have been so very interesting, yet so very needed. last week the Lord really started working on me and some of my friends in the context of what He is doing among us and the roles at church that He has placed us in. we got together on a tuesday 2 weeks ago to pray and let me tell you that there is no way on earth that any one person could have walked in that room and not felt the presence of the Lord. it was so powerful. we ended up praying for what seemed like 10 minutes but really turned out to be an hour and a half. so good. it is neat to see a passion that the Lord has given you revealed in others as well. but that is how the church is supposed to be, isnt it?

as the week went on, i posted on my need and want to run. well, i did just that. i went home and got away, and i actually ran in a race. it was so much fun because i got to run it with my parents (well they walked/ran) but i came in 7th out of 210 people, and came in 1st in my age group. i was actually really impressed with myself. bum knees and all! but something that i learned through this whole thing was the self discipline of the people running in the race. for most of the people there, they werent in it just for the fun of it. yes it was fun, but the goal for everyone was to run. and that simple fact was a huge encouragement to me. the discipline that i have in my running is improving (it has to--7 miles this past sunday...) but its also giving me a good perspective on the spiritual self discipline that i need.

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. -2 Timothy 1:6-8

but after the race i came back to Clinton on sunday morning for church and got to fellowship with my church family, which i absolutely love. but what happened that night was so much more profound. so landon and i have decided to meet on sunday afternoons to talk and pray and such, and this past sunday he asked me about some pieces of scripture that he has been trying to wrap his mind around. they are as follows:

Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name. But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person. -John 2:23-25

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.” From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” -John 6:63-69

well we talked about them for a little but and i told him that i would try and dig a little deeper into them and give him some feedback. well i did. and i wasnt ready for what revelation had occurred. as i got to looking at the passages of scripture they all began to circulate back to one particular scripture that has been heavy on our youth group for quite some time now, and thats John 15:5, which says, "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." it all boils down to whether or not you have a superficial faith that is in it for the attraction of the spectacular, or if you genuinely believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that that fact changes the way you believe. you believe out of shear love. and what is interesting about this whole process is how landon approached me about it. he genuinely sought out an answer with all this and couldnt find it. but the Lord had placed this passage on his heart and he wanted to understand that. and thats how i want to respond to scripture. i want it to consume me to the very core to the extent that if i dont understand something i wont settle on it until i figure out an answer.

on a lighter, yet serious, note, a sweet friend of mine, laura, came for a visit and i cant tell you how much that meant to me. we talked about life, friends, family, Jesus, struggle, and hardships. we talked about praises and prayer requests. it was so good. but when she left on thursday, i wish that she could have stayed, but she had to go back. i am, however, pretty positive that i will see here fairly soon...

this past thursday night i got to meet up again with the youth leadership team to continue to discuss and pray about the future of the ministry. and let me tell you that it was once again a very precious time with the Lord. it was so good to hear those hearts cry out again. it is such a good glimpse of how we are suppose to call out to him. and i was reminded of the scripture in Jeremiah 33:3 where the Lord tells Jeremiah to, "Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things you do not know." so often i have failed to simply cry out and let God know my heart, and even further i have failed to stop and listen after i cry out so that i can know God's heart. it is what he desires of us. to be in fellowship with Him. to be one with Him. to worship Him.

we have all started a bible study called the battle recently (on March 4th actually--the only day of the year that is a command--March Forth, get it?) and i dont think that it is a coincidence that we began a study by this name on this particular day. God is so neat in the way that He does things. and with this whole study He is rocking my world. honestly, i dont know what to do with myself. every single day relates directly to what is going through in my life and they all reciprocate off of one another. it is challenging me to dig into scripture, memorize scripture, and pray intently. things that are much needed and not done far enough in my life. i am on an incredible journey and i cant wait to see where it takes me!!

lastly, i found out my team placement for camp this coming summer. i will be serving as camp pastor for CK7! 7-11 babby!!!! ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!! haha, but no seriously i am toally pumped about the individuals that i will be serving with as well as the role the Lord has for me this summer. one of my prayers is that i will be able to serve and lead this team spiritually all summer long. through pain and suffering, through good and bad, through joy and gladness. i want to be all i can for these folks and that has a lot to do with my heart going in to camp. i pray that i am being strengthened and renewed by fire every single day. i am anticipating, and patiently waiting. it just wont come fast enough....

.....oh and the new Passion CD is great. you should get it.

.....and i go to spain in 6 days. excited? yup.