shaken.

in the aftermath of the devastating storms that stretched across the south yesterday i am in a state of shock and fear. i feel so helpless. i think i have cried more over the past two days for the people of alabama then i have all year. my heart is hurting.

i sat in the church office yesterday and watched a massive tornado utterly devastate the city where i spent an amazing season of growth in my life for four years. i felt like the memories and the friendships were getting destroyed. it literally felt like something was being ripped from my spirit as i watched the scene. it was kinda like one of those movies where there seems to be so much chaos going on around the main character and then everything suddenly slows down and goes quiet. almost deafening.

as i continue to read the news reports, the facebook statuses, and the twitter updates this morning, my heart continues to ache. but all along my heart never ceases to do one simple act of obedience: give the Father glory.

that is a hard thing to do when it feels like a piece of you has been shredded to pieces. its a hard thing to do when you know that your home town will be without power for 5 days and your family is helpless. its a hard thing to do when you know that friends are in the hospital in pain. its a hard thing to do when i know that thousands of people are now homeless and jobless. but what does my heart tell me? "my heart will sing no other name but Jesus."

i came across this passage of scripture this morning in Hebrews 12:

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe," (v28)

i am thankful that even though my temporary home here may be torn apart, my home in heaven will NEVER perish. i am grateful that my Father in heaven is "close to the crushed in spirit". i am overjoyed to know that my God has all this under control.

so now what?

my very being has been shaken. but what is my response? praise.

what will your response be? now? or in the days, months, and years to come?

i stay amazed.

wow. to God be the glory forever and ever.

i dont know what to say.

God, you never cease to amaze me. i want to pour out my life for you Lord. thank You. i love You.

ok, so recently God has been doing some legit stuff all around me. from underground church last weekend, to a kid named mike giving his life to Christ on Sunday, to me praying with a teary eyed kid in the bathroom who doesnt know whats going on in his life, to seeing that God has wrapped Himself in everything we say and do at church. i just want to praise Him.

i knew it was coming, and i had felt it coming for the longest time, but i finally broke down and cried on the phone with Laura the other day because of the joy that the Lord has placed in my heart. its so neat to be a part of His story.

this is such an incredible journey. i am so excited to go with Him. and i pray that He continues to go before me. that way i make it about Him and not me.

ill leave you with this:

It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah. Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. But don't take any of this for granted. It was only yesterday that you outsiders to God's ways had no idea of any of this, didn't know the first thing about the way God works, hadn't the faintest idea of Christ. You knew nothing of that rich history of God's covenants and promises in Israel, hadn't a clue about what God was doing in the world at large. Now because of Christ—dying that death, shedding that blood—you who were once out of it altogether are in on everything. -Ephesians 2:1-13 (MSG)